New Beginnings🌻

Hey Friends,

For those of you who know me well, you know that the past 4 to 5 months have brought a lot of change in my life. I started the year with some really rough moments, and have been progressively climbing out of the valley to what is now a beautiful view.

If you don't know, I was in a short marriage with someone and at the start of the year, that ended. It was a really heart-wrenching time, but it happened, life moves on, and I'm okay. This semester is the semester I take STEP 1, our first board exam as medical students. I've been really determined to not let any hardship get in the way of my dreams, despite the fact it's objectively super hard to study for a board exam and file for an annulment all at the same time. But as it turns out, adopting a puppy is a lovely way to channel all of my internal feelings of love that I wanted to give out, toward something that would unconditionally love me in return. My baby girl Ellie, is a huge reason I've been able to keep it together and study for my exam despite all chaos falling around me at the start of the year.

After a lot of reflecting, grieving, and reconnecting with myself & my pup, I started doing a lot better. Maybe it sounds cliché but I've got the best friends and family in the world. The amount of people I had taking care of me when I needed it reminded me that I am so blessed. They are worth their weight in gold, and boy do I love them.

So as far as being a medical student studying for a board exam goes, I had a pretty packed schedule. Lots of seeing people and taking Ellie on charming walks as it got warmer. It was almost like the world was melting into a state of renewal for me. And renewal is exactly what I got.

I fell in love again, with someone who means a lot to me.

I don't think I could have fallen in love again with another stranger - aka someone you meet and then create a relationship with right away. That's the way literally all of my relationships have started, but after experiencing some pretty deep heartbreak & betrayal, I couldn't fall in love with just another person like that. I needed someone who I knew I could trust with my heart. Someone who I knew didn't take people's love and affection lightly, and whose true, noble character I've already witnessed for years.

I fell in love with a friend.

We've been friends for going on two years. He's never been anything but a very true, supportive friend in my life. When my life turned upside down at the beginning of the year, he was one of the first people I told and he rushed over to take care of me so I could study for an exam we had coming up that week. He has never treated me with anything but complete respect. A couple months went by after my relationship ended, and I realized I had feelings for my friend. I had deep feelings for my friend.

We started spending tons of time together, way more than we ever had. One evening he came over to go to yoga with me, and just walked in the house and said. "I haven't been able to sleep for days, I need to know, you're into me right?". I responded "yeah, I am". He ran out the front door (which initially confused me), went to his car, and came back with a dozen roses. This is the first time a partner has given me flowers for no reason. No holiday out of obligation, no apology, just absolutely no strings attached to beautiful, white, pink, and red roses.

Ever since then, when the flowers on the counter start to fade, he comes home with more bouquets for the vase.

I think part of the healing process when your trust is broken from someone, is learning to trust again. Falling in love with someone who was my friend meant I already trusted him. I already had a front row seat to the kind of character he had. It is so sweet to give your love and trust to someone who you know will treat it kindly. Who will cherish it. He's one of the best men I know, right up there next to my dad.

I found a love that holds my heart with gentle hands.

That's how love should be.

Natasha LaGrega